Calum had a "first" today. He is now rolling over!! He is very proud of his new skill, although he does not know what to do with himself as soon as he arrives on his stomach. This is where he decides to just spit up and smear his face in it, making a big mess that calls for my attention. I get him all cleaned up, and he does it again. It won't be long until he realizes that this rolling action can lead to actual movement across the floor.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
100 Days of Calum, Day 94
Calum had a "first" today. He is now rolling over!! He is very proud of his new skill, although he does not know what to do with himself as soon as he arrives on his stomach. This is where he decides to just spit up and smear his face in it, making a big mess that calls for my attention. I get him all cleaned up, and he does it again. It won't be long until he realizes that this rolling action can lead to actual movement across the floor.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
A Day of Thanks
Today is Thanksgiving and it was a truly great day. I was well organized and the meal came together perfectly. Unfortunately, we do not have any family here to spend the holidays with, so we filled our house with friends. And fill our house we did! Everyone had a great time. We enjoyed a wonderful meal, great conversation and even more food and wine.
Lamar and I feel so grateful for all the wonderful things in our life. We have a warm, safe home, filled with love and laughter. Our children are happy and healthy. We both have work on our own terms. Our friends help round out this great day and life.
Happy Thanksgiving!
100 Days of Calum, Day 92
This is my new Calyx Buckle Tai. I could not get through the day without it. This is the only way I get anything done, and Calum sleeps. Here he is catching a ride (and nap) while I prepare for Thanksgiving.Wednesday, November 25, 2009
It is just different this time
I have been thinking a lot lately about how different I feel postpartum with Calum than I did with each of the girls. Each experience has been so different, and each has determined how I approached motherhood with each child. I don't want to judge each experience. I firmly believe that I needed each experience to grow as a woman.
With Shianne, we were in such survival mode. So much had happened in our lives that we were just treading water to stay alive while learning what to do with this new baby. Her birth was so traumatic for me. I never allowed myself the time to check in with my emotions. I was so concerned with keeping everything together that I did not enjoy every moment like I should have. I did not know that it was supposed to be any different. We really grew up together.
With Nora Beth, I was in a really dark spot. I had some problems with postpartum depression. I kept up a good false front, but inside I was sinking into a dark hole. When I reached out for help, I felt brushed under the carpet. I felt like I was treated as "there is no way the doula could be having problems, she is supposed to know how to make it better." It did not help that Nora Beth made constant noise (read SCREAMED) for the first two years. I had this perfect little girl and yet, this dark hole was all consuming for me. I threw myself into my work. In some sick way, I felt that if I could make it better for another mom, then I could heal myself.
Now, here I am, 3 months postpartum with Calum and I am just loving the experience. It is so different. This is the way it is supposed to be. I never mind getting up with him in the middle of the night. I actually look forward to it. Smelling the top of his head is like a drug to me, I can't get enough of it. I have no depression. I do not feel guilty just spending the whole day cuddling with him. The housework and dinner can wait. I am just so filled with joy. My head is so clear. Every mom should have this experience. We got off to a rough start physically, but my mental health was so good and I was so supported by those around me that it now barely registers as a bump in the road.
I have talked quite a bit about all the letting go that I had to do with this last pregnancy. I can really see now that I had to let go of all that "baggage" so I could be open to all the receiving that I have allowed for myself. I have always been the type of person who does for others, and does not take the time to fill myself back up. Well, I am feeling really full right now, almost bursting. I really have the most amazing husband and friends. They have all been right there for me, nurturing me, being there for every thing that I need. For that, I am eternally grateful. This support has allowed me to be the best mom possible. I have no idea how I will make it up to them, except to be there for them when they need it.
Calum is now three months old. He just gets bigger each day. He is such a happy, laid back baby. He has the sweetest giggle and really recognizes the people in his daily life. He is on the verge of rolling over. Still does not sleep during the day, but is a great sleeper at night. His sisters are so good with him. Nora Beth makes sure he is constantly smothered in hugs and kisses and Shianne is great at keeping him happy. Shianne is such a big help to me.
I am more in love with my three kids each day. They are each such individuals. They amaze me by their depth and knowledge. I can get lost in each of their blue eyes. I feel grateful that I have had so much individual time with each child, the direct result of their age gap. Growing up, I had this vision of what my family would look like. I am happy to say, that my reality is so much better!
Again, I am just loving this experience. I am so in love with Calum!
With Shianne, we were in such survival mode. So much had happened in our lives that we were just treading water to stay alive while learning what to do with this new baby. Her birth was so traumatic for me. I never allowed myself the time to check in with my emotions. I was so concerned with keeping everything together that I did not enjoy every moment like I should have. I did not know that it was supposed to be any different. We really grew up together.
With Nora Beth, I was in a really dark spot. I had some problems with postpartum depression. I kept up a good false front, but inside I was sinking into a dark hole. When I reached out for help, I felt brushed under the carpet. I felt like I was treated as "there is no way the doula could be having problems, she is supposed to know how to make it better." It did not help that Nora Beth made constant noise (read SCREAMED) for the first two years. I had this perfect little girl and yet, this dark hole was all consuming for me. I threw myself into my work. In some sick way, I felt that if I could make it better for another mom, then I could heal myself.
Now, here I am, 3 months postpartum with Calum and I am just loving the experience. It is so different. This is the way it is supposed to be. I never mind getting up with him in the middle of the night. I actually look forward to it. Smelling the top of his head is like a drug to me, I can't get enough of it. I have no depression. I do not feel guilty just spending the whole day cuddling with him. The housework and dinner can wait. I am just so filled with joy. My head is so clear. Every mom should have this experience. We got off to a rough start physically, but my mental health was so good and I was so supported by those around me that it now barely registers as a bump in the road.
I have talked quite a bit about all the letting go that I had to do with this last pregnancy. I can really see now that I had to let go of all that "baggage" so I could be open to all the receiving that I have allowed for myself. I have always been the type of person who does for others, and does not take the time to fill myself back up. Well, I am feeling really full right now, almost bursting. I really have the most amazing husband and friends. They have all been right there for me, nurturing me, being there for every thing that I need. For that, I am eternally grateful. This support has allowed me to be the best mom possible. I have no idea how I will make it up to them, except to be there for them when they need it.
Calum is now three months old. He just gets bigger each day. He is such a happy, laid back baby. He has the sweetest giggle and really recognizes the people in his daily life. He is on the verge of rolling over. Still does not sleep during the day, but is a great sleeper at night. His sisters are so good with him. Nora Beth makes sure he is constantly smothered in hugs and kisses and Shianne is great at keeping him happy. Shianne is such a big help to me.
I am more in love with my three kids each day. They are each such individuals. They amaze me by their depth and knowledge. I can get lost in each of their blue eyes. I feel grateful that I have had so much individual time with each child, the direct result of their age gap. Growing up, I had this vision of what my family would look like. I am happy to say, that my reality is so much better!
Again, I am just loving this experience. I am so in love with Calum!
100 Days of Calum, Day's 86 - 91
Day 86
Those cheeks just make me melt
Day 87
Chris, your neck looks so good!
Day 88
The shirt says it all!
Day 89
So much work to stretch
Day 90
He loves to watch himself in the mirror
Day 91
Back to my happy baby!
Those cheeks just make me melt
Day 87
Chris, your neck looks so good!
Day 88
The shirt says it all!
Day 89
So much work to stretch
Day 90He loves to watch himself in the mirror
Day 91
Back to my happy baby!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
From Pumpkin to Pie
I picked up a sugar pumpkin a few days ago with the intention to show the girls how to make a pumpkin pie from an actual pumpkin. This afternoon, Nora Beth and I went to work. We cut up the pumpkin, took out the seeds (and roasted them!), roasted the pumpkin, mashed it and mixed up the pie ingredients. Nora Beth was so excited to help me. She poured each ingredient into the bowl and did the mixing.
The house smelled so good when the pie came out of the oven. Pumpkin pie is one of Lamar's favorites. He rushed through dinner so he could have some. It turned out great.
The house smelled so good when the pie came out of the oven. Pumpkin pie is one of Lamar's favorites. He rushed through dinner so he could have some. It turned out great.
100 Days of Calum, Days 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85
Day 80
Hanging out with my sister
Hanging out with my sister
Day 81
Calum has discovered his hands and his favorite place for them is in his mouth!
Calum has discovered his hands and his favorite place for them is in his mouth!
Day 82
Yes, Calum is not in this picture. The girls excluded him from their game of Chicken Foot
Day 83
Mom keeps putting me in this bouncy seat, but I really like it!
Mom keeps putting me in this bouncy seat, but I really like it!
Day 84
Sleeping in the swing, a very rare event
Sleeping in the swing, a very rare event
Day 85
MMM...that was a good meal!
MMM...that was a good meal!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
100 Days of Calum, Day 76
Calum falls asleep every time grandma holds him! He is just so sweet and cuddly.
A Tea Party Fit For A Princess
Nora Beth wanted a Princess Tea Party for her birthday. So we planned a whole afternoon of fun. I knitted each girl their own crown and added pink jewels.
Nora Beth helped me make tea sandwiches with ribbons on them. She was insistent on having strawberries. Not easy to find in November!
She also had to have a pink princess cake.
We both had to wear our royal jewels!
She was so excited to see her cake after I decorated it.
As a craft activity, the girls made magic wands. It was so much fun to listen to them giggle and make up magic words to say to each other.
I had to laugh at Mary Ann. She came out here to attend the tea party, and slept through it with Calum!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Nora Beth is 5
Today my little girl turns 5. It seems unreal how fast she is growing up. It seems just like yesterday that we were welcoming her into our family. Her world revolves around princesses and the color pink. She is such a good mommy to her baby dolls. Nora Beth is always providing entertainment with her singing and dancing and loves to tell funny jokes.
Lora did another amazing job with pictures. We went to some local parks and Nora Beth had a great time twirling in the tutu's.
Lora did another amazing job with pictures. We went to some local parks and Nora Beth had a great time twirling in the tutu's.
100 Days of Calum, Day 73
And I shall name him "Mini Me!"
I think Calum looks just like his father here. He is sitting just like Lamar and even wearing "big boy" clothes.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
100 Days of Calum, Day 72
It was a busy day today getting ready for Grandma Mary Ann to arrive tomorrow!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
100 Days of Calum, Day 70
See, he is not all smiles!! He was actually only upset for just a minute this evening and instead of comforting him, I took his picture...Mean Mommy!!We actually had a great day together in Portland. I took him there for his hearing test. He also got a Cranio Sacral treatment. The therapist could not find any spots on him that needed work and his ears were perfect. We then spent some time looking through some eclectic shops and going grocery shopping.
Monday, November 2, 2009
100 Days of Calum, Day 69
Today was such a great day with Calum. He did get up to early - he has not adjusted to the time change yet. We did get to take a great nap together this morning. I would love for him to take a nap on his own so I can get something done while he is down, but I also really enjoy cuddling with him. The afternoon and evening goes so much better when he gets a nap.
Here he is playing with Lamar. They were having such a good time.
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