Sometimes being an adult sucks. Lamar and I had to make one of those major life decisions today. You know the ones you agonize over for months. I thought we had crossed this bridge years ago when we did our will and would not have to revisit it anytime soon. But, the reality of life is that it is constantly changing.
It is never fun to think of your own mortality. I hope that we are never in the situation that our decisions have to be carried out, but it is better to make these decisions ourselves than to have someone else do it for us who may not have our best interests at heart. We felt good about the decisions we made several years ago. The financial and physical property issues are easy to make. They are just stuff. It is the children that are difficult. How do you ask somebody to raise your children? It is not like they are inheriting a puppy dog. We are about to have three children. How do you suddenly take on three children that are not your own?
We thought that this grand decision was done and did not give it much more thought until recently. When re-evaluating several aspects of our will we realized that we needed to change the custody decision. It was hard enough to make this decision the first time, to change it was agonizing. It is a reality that family members age, come and go out of our lives and personal situations change. This is a decision that we had to make for our children. How would we want them to be raised if we were not here? Could the person we appoint take on this responsibility?
Did I mention that being an adult sucks?!
So we made the change. It is official. The paperwork is in the attorneys hand. Done. It feels good to have this decision made, but I know that we will have to revisit this again in the future. I am being realistic. Life happens. Hopefully life happens with both of us here to see it.
Have you thought about this for your own family? It is one thing to think about it, but it is another to actually take the legal step to make it happen. I encourage you to do this. It is no fun, but definitely one of the most important things you can do for your family.
So this is what all of the pondering was about? Very important subject. For us, it has been near impossible to agree. We need to hash it out, though.
ReplyDeleteAmy
The pondering has been about many things, this is just one of them. Still so much more to ponder about.
ReplyDeleteSince you posted this, I have yet to ponder about anything else. We must catch up soon :)
ReplyDeleteAmy
Stacey your right I think that is the toughest decision we make as parents. Being an adult is very hard. I am sorry you had to do this. ((((hugs)))) For us it was nearly impossible to decide. Having a disabled child made it soooo hard. It also left us with less options than we had before. It is weird to say it but it was easy with our first, well not easy but not impossible feeling. We also had to make sure that the people we chose had to realize that they might have a child for the rest of their lives. That also made it that much harder for them as well especially since our people were military and their lives change so much and they are alone so much.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good parent for tackling this very hard adult thing and prayers that it will never be needed.
Jenny Jcmommy2
We had such a difficult time with this as well. Luckily, we both ended up agreeing on who to put in our will as custodial parents, but it was still a long and agonizing decision to make.
ReplyDeleteI just hope we never have to use it!