Life Goes On

Many of you who are a part of my life on a daily basis know that I have been having a hard time lately. I have been in a dark spot dealing with grief. I have experienced the reality of a major loss in my life, one that I can only equate to the parallel of the grief process of death. It truly is the death of a relationship. I never wanted this to happen. It is a train wreck that has gone out of control.

This relationship has always been very important to me. One of the few constants that I have had in my life. One that I never saw ending. This not only affects me, but also my children. This relationship was very important to my oldest daughter. She also does not understand why things changed. My youngest does not even know this person. What a shame, but right now, it may be a good thing for her. She does not have to experience this pain. I have another child that will be joining our family soon, that I fear, will also never really know this relationship.

It is times like this that I really value my friends, my chosen family - for that is what you truly are - my family, regardless of the lack of DNA. Lamar, my husband, has also been amazing with all of this. You have all been there for me. Keeping me busy, sending notes, taking me out...thank you.

I realize that life goes on, and that is what I am doing. I have so many great things in my life. I am truly blessed. I have a wonderful husband and daughters, amazing friends and work that I find fulfilling.

I had the pleasure of attending a birth yesterday morning. As I was driving to my laboring mama I passed a massive house fire. I found out later in the day that the house was completely destroyed. What a contrast in life. I am on my way to help welcome a beautiful baby boy into the world and at that same time a family is experiencing a major traumatic experience. You never really know what the day has in store for you. We need to treasure what is important to us.

So what does the picture of the zinnia have to do with any of this. Well, zinnias are special flowers to me. This particular zinnia is completing it's life cycle and will soon go to seed. But that is not the end of it...it will live on in the flowers that will grow from it's seeds. Life goes on. I will get through this. I have many more flowers to plant and nourish.