100 Days of Calum, Day 5

100 Days of Calum, Day 4

Today was a lazy day. We all stayed in our PJ's all day, except for Calum, he got his first real bath. Shianne and I set everything up in the kitchen sink and added Calum. I was prepared for him to not like it, since he does not like to be messed with in any way. To our surprise, he loved it. So many happy smiles and movements. He almost seemed disappointed when I took him out. His Squishiness, as the girls and I call him, smells so good now. It was so great to cuddle with him afterwards. He was so content and sleepy.

100 Days of Calum, Day 3

Today I ventured out of the house with all three kids by myself. Nora Beth wanted to go to the tea party at the Gilbert House. I thought it would be very easy, just sit off to the side and feed Calum while the girls played. Nora Beth had no interest in the tea party when we arrived. She just wanted to play in the large play structure. I ended up with spit up all down the front of me, I was then peed on and he had no desire to eat. We then headed to Costco to have lunch with Lamar and show Calum off to the pharmacy. I lost Shianne in the store, Calum screamed and then when we left the store we were welcomed by a downpour on the way to the car. I could not get home fast enough. The evening was spent cuddling. So thankful that dinner was brought to us.

More Squishiness!

Lora came over again for another round of photos. I can't emphasize how spoiled I am by her! I just love how these turned out. I now need a larger house with more wall space for all these pictures!


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100 Days of Calum, Day 2

This is the view I see most often of Calum. The boy is always eating!

Today was a rough day. Nora Beth kept waking him up when I would walk out of the room, Shianne was cranky, Lamar was golfing, the toilet overflowed and made a mess, Calum would scream if I put him down, I didn't feel good, Nora Beth did not understand why I could not get up to make her food, I was hungry all day - no one home to make me food, etc....just a bad day. Tomorrow will be better.

The Birth

The Story of Calum's Birth

Cast:
Myself (Stacey, mom)
Lamar (Dad)
Shianne (Big Sister)
Nora Beth (Big Sister)
Pamela (Midwife)
Laura (Apprentice Midwife)
Amy (Doula, Friend)
Lora (Photographer, Friend)

On Tuesday afternoon I took the girls to the pool to meet with Lora and her kids. The weather was so hot and I was so uncomfortable that I was even willing to get in the pool myself. This is huge for me since I really dislike chlorinated pools. It felt so good to just float and chat. The kids played around us. It was also a good distraction for me since Lamar was already in Omaha. We headed home, made dinner and went to bed early.

I woke up around 1 AM to a very strong crampy feeling. I did not think much of it. Maybe I just over did it in the pool? I went back to sleep, but I kept waking up about every 15 minutes. By 3 AM I could no longer stand being in bed. I got up and messed around in the kitchen. I was not having contractions, just this crampy feeling and the inability to lay down. I gave Lamar a call. Remember that he is two hours ahead of me in Omaha. I knew that he would just be getting up to meet the family for breakfast. I knew that I was not in labor, but I just wanted to hear his voice. As soon as he heard me have one of the cramps, he was insistent that I call everyone over to the house. I think he heard something in my voice that I was not willing to admit.

There was no way I could be in labor. This is not how it was supposed to go. First of all, Lamar was supposed to be there. I was also going to labor at night, not in the morning. That is why I put all the candles in the bathroom. I was also not having "contractions," just this low, crampy feeling that was coming irregularly. Again, this was not going according to my plan, so there was no way that I was in labor.

I have said it before, so much of this pregnancy has been learning how to let go of control. This vision of labor was the last thing for me to let go of.

I was terrified of calling everyone over for this false labor, especially at this hour of the morning. I sent a text to Lora, but did not hear a response from her. I continued to straighten up the kitchen and fold laundry. The cramps kept coming. Lamar called back, very irritated that I had not listened to him and threatened to make the phone calls for me - he had all the numbers with him. I agreed to give Lora a call, not another text. This was his worst nightmare - me being at home alone in labor - just another stress for him on this already emotional day. For those of you who know Lamar well, you know that he does not like stress.

Lora answered the phone. I could literally hear her and Brad jump out of bed and stumble around their bedroom. Before I knew it, she was walking through my front door - still in her pj's, but camera in hand. I also gave Amy a call and she was going to rush right over. I do not remember if I gave Pamela a call or text, but she showed up with Laura shortly after Amy.

The birth team is here, minus Lamar, and I am still not convinced that this is it. Shianne hears the commotion going on and comes downstairs. She quickly realizes what is going on and does not want to be left out of the fun. Nora Beth also realized that there was something happening and wanders down the stairs - what a great way for her to wake up - a house full of people that will cater to her every whim!

I remember stepping out on the porch while everyone was on their way over. The sunrise was beautiful, the temperature just right. The sky was filling up with a rainbow of pinks and oranges. The sun would be peaking over the horizon soon. We went back into the house. I remember thinking that the neighbors were going to wake up and see all these cars in the driveway and know that something was happening. Great - more pressure on me for this false alarm of labor.

The cramps were getting more intense, but I felt like they were rather erratic. This sensation was nothing like what I had experienced with the girls. Just cramps, not the whole stomach and back contractions that I had had with the previous labors. Nothing was comfortable for me. Standing, sitting and walking were all wrong. I decided to get into the tub. Pamela and Laura had all their stuff set out and organized. I remember thinking that they were going through a lot of work, just to have to pack it all up for nothing.

At about 6:30 I got in the warm water. It felt so good. Very relaxing. So relaxing, that the cramps went away. I should have done this hours ago and saved everyone the trouble of coming over. I remember joking about this to Amy and Lora. After about a half hour, the cramps were back - with a vengeance. I felt my water break. I now admitted to myself that I was in labor. "I was having the baby and Lamar was not here!" was all I could think at that moment.

The girls kept coming into the bathroom to check on me. They were so calm and excited for what was about to happen. Nora Beth had her doll Princess Pinky to keep her calm and kept wanting Pamela to read her stories. Amy was pouring water down my back to keep me comfortable. This is what I wanted during Nora Beth's birth, it felt so good then, but this time it was different. It felt good, but not the complete relaxation that I had gotten before. Lora was busy taking pictures of everything that was happening. I was not aware of the camera's presence at all.

Pamela and Laura kept their distance - exactly what I wanted them to do. I knew that they were keeping an eye on me and that the less involved they were, the better my labor was doing. Laura checked on baby's heart tones a few times. I did not like this. It felt like I was being stabbed. All the intensity of the cramps would intensify where the Doppler was placed. It was only during those few moments that I thought that I could not do this.

I tried to relax as much as possible. What I was feeling was just so different. I tried to be mentally curious about what I was feeling. I remember thinking about what I tell parents in my classes....Be curious about the sensations...where do they start....stop.....what is your breath doing? I lost all track of time. I was in my own world. I remember chatting with everyone, but have no idea what those conversations were about.

I moved around in the tub. It is a good thing that it is so big. Nothing was really comfortable. I wanted to hold onto a rope from the ceiling, but no one would produce one for me. The cramps were so intense. They still did not feel like contractions - just intense low abdominal cramps. I remember thinking, probably out loud, that this is why people get pain medication. This was outside of my expectations, not going according to my plan and I did not know how long it was going to last.

Lora kept texting Lamar with updates. He was probably being the annoying person at the funeral who would not leave his cell phone alone. What a tough spot for him to be. Grieving with his family at a funeral while feeling the excitement of knowing that his son was about to be born.

A little after 9 AM I remember trying to bear down with the cramps. I did not have a feeling that I "had to push" but more of a curiosity of what would happen if I did this. I was not pushing hard, just grunting. I had this need to be in a more upright position, but I could not find one that I liked. I still felt like he was really high up in my pelvis. Nora Beth was sitting on the edge of the tub. She really wanted to be in the tub when her brother was born. She ended up getting out and sitting on the floor in front of me.

I got on my knees and leaned over the side of the tub and held onto Amy's hands for counter pressure. As soon as I tilted my pelvis I felt him just drop down into my pelvis. All of a sudden he was on his way out. It was so intense. I had the birthing stool placed into the tub hoping it would take the pressure off of my knees. It was not really comfortable, but nothing was. Where was that rope hanging from the ceiling that I wanted!

I felt like I was screaming with each of these cramps that were coming. Nora Beth got scared of the noises I was making, but Pam was there to calm her. I could not attend to her at this moment, I HAD to get him out of me. Lora called Lamar and put him on speaker phone so he could hear his son being born. I later learned that he was attending the Interment of his nephew at this moment. What a contradiction of life. A burial and a birth at the same time.

There was so much time between the cramps. Why couldn't they get closer together. I was motivated. I was being ripped apart. Another one came. I pushed like I never knew I could. His head was out, or so I thought. Only halfway out. How big was he going to be? The head just kept coming. It seemed unreal to reach down and feel him. I could feel him adjusting himself to get the rest of the body out. Like a floppy fish in my stomach. All of a sudden his shoulders were out and then the rest of his body. Relief! Pamela helped me bring him up. So unreal to have him in my arms. He was here. I was so happy.

I could hear Lamar on the phone worried about why he was not crying. I could tell he was OK, he just needed a moment to adjust to what he had been through. Heck, I needed a moment! It was not long until he perked right up and let us know that he had arrived. It felt so good to have him in my arms. The girls were so excited to see him here. His warm, vernix covered body was so hard to hold on to. He was so big!

The next little bit was just busy work. Pamela took him from me, Shianne cut the cord and then cuddled with him while Pamela and Laura attended to me and got me out of the tub and into bed. I had a bit of a bleeding issue again, but no where near what it was like with Nora Beth. I just wanted to get into bed and cuddle with my baby.

I finally got into bed and was able to cuddle with him. The newborn exam was done. Everyone was so surprised to find out his size. I grew a big, healthy baby.

I am so grateful to everyone who was here with me. It all worked out the way it was supposed to. I really wanted Lamar there, but I knew that he would be home tomorrow. Lora spent the rest of the day and night with me until Lamar could make it home. Amy, Pamela and Laura left. What a whirlwind of a morning.


The following is a collection of photos from the birth. It is about a 3 minute slide show. Enjoy.

Summer deliciousness

Yesterday the girls went to pick blackberries in the neighbors yard. We would love for them to actually take care of their yard, but for two weeks out of the summer we do get wonderful blackberries from their negligence! They brought home just enough for a pie. I mustered up enough energy to throw this together for a quick treat. It was just delicious. It felt good to be in the kitchen, even if it was just for a few minutes.

100 days of Calum, Day 1

I have decided to do a photo project of Calum to show how much he changes over the next 100 days. My goal is to take a picture of him each day and post here. He is one week old today, so a great time to start.

So, what is new in his life today? His cord fell off and he transitioned into the cloth diapers. Calum was weighed today and he has gained back 6 ounces of what he had lost. He also allowed me to have a great nights rest last night, so I woke today feeling like I could make it through the day. Remember, when mama is happy, the whole house is happy!

1 Week Old

It seems unreal that a week has passed since Calum joined our family. He fits in so perfectly. I am just in awe of him. So in love. I can literally spend the whole day just looking at him.

The girls are doing great with him. Shianne is such a big help. Nora Beth just wants to dress him up. We have been trying to spend some extra time with each girl and have been giving them the opportunity to be involved as much as they want to be, on their terms. Even Lamar gets lost in just holding him. What a special time.

Lora has been over almost every day to take pictures of him. They are turning out so great. I can't wait to see them in completion.

We have also had friends bring us dinner almost every night. This is a huge help for us. Cooking is the one thing that has been so hard to do since it is not Lamar's specialty and I do not feel like spending time in the kitchen right now - it just takes time away from me staring at Calum!

I want to thank everyone who has helped us out. This transition would not be nearly as easy without your help.

He makes me melt!

Lora came over today to do some pictures. I am one spoiled mama! Here is just a quick sampling of the pictures. Lamar has been initiated in what happens when you take a diaper off and hold a naked baby - twice!

Calum is doing great. Nora Beth calls him squishy. Why are babies made so darn cute? All I want to do is hold him and look at him.

He is here!

Calum Lamar Lindsay
was born on
Wednesday August 19th, 2009
9:48 AM

10 pounds 13 ounces
24.5 inches long
15 inch head

Mom and baby are doing great!

Life - the unexpected

Sunday morning started off like any other weekend day. Lamar got up early to go golfing with some friends and the girls and I were slow to start. We finally got our act together. Shianne had a day planned with some friends and Nora Beth and I were going to go see a movie together. Just as I was walking out the door, the phone rang. I chose to not answer it, for two reasons...1. we were running late and 2. I just assumed it was another "are you still pregnant" phone call. I closed the door and went about to get the girls to their activities.

I feel bad. I should have answered the phone. While sitting in the movie, my cell phone started going off (I had it on silent). Lamar text me to let me know that it was his parents who were calling when we left to let us know that Lamar's nephew Shaun had suddenly passed away. This is shocking family news. You do not expect a healthy 28 year old to have a presumed heart attack. Shaun was Lamar's only nephew, the only child of Lamar's older brother Andrew.

After much deliberation last night, we came to the conclusion that Lamar needed to fly out to Omaha for the services. The service is to be held on Wednesday. Lamar leaves on Tuesday morning and comes back on Thursday afternoon. This is risky, remember I am over 41 weeks pregnant. This was a tough decision. The way this pregnancy has gone, I will still be pregnant in two weeks!

Of course, I do not want Lamar to miss the birth. I also know how important it is to be with family in times of need. Lamar has such a small immediate family, that to miss this would be unimaginable to him. So to Omaha he goes. My mantra has changed from "baby come OUT" to "baby PLEASE stay IN!"

We have talked about what would happen if baby was to come while he is gone. Lamar has serious concerns about leaving me alone right now. What would happen if labor began in the middle of the night with no other adult here? I assured him that I have amazing care and some friends that I know will be right here for me to help out until he comes home. It will all work out and I am feeling very comfortable with the decision. Let me rephrase that. I am not really comfortable with the decision, but there is no right answer and to worry just creates more stress for me, thus forcing me into being comfortable. It is all part of letting go of control. We discussed inducing me last night or today, but that is just not an option that I really want to do. It is better for baby and me to just let nature run its course. I am just going to take it easy and hope that labor does not happen until later in the week.

Master Food Preserver

I DID IT! I have now earned the title of Master Food Preserver through Oregon State University. I have been taking classes for several months and just finished up two weeks ago. The official news came in the mail today with my final exam results.

The class covered so much information including jams and jellies, pickling, freezing, pressure canning, hot water bath canning and dehydrating. We processed all kinds of produce in class along with meats. There was even one day devoted to salsa. I learned so much. It was a fascinating class.

So why did I decided to do this. I grew up watching my grandmothers can, but I was never sure why things were done certain ways. I wanted to learn the proper procedures. I am such a stickler for food safety and I wanted to make sure the food I was preserving would be perfect for my family.

I now have some volunteer hours to fulfill, but I am halfway there. I have some classes planned and will help out at some community outreach projects in the next few months. The class was well worth the work involved.

Overdue

That one little word seems to define so much in my life lately. The world seems to be so obsessed with this word and it's implications. This word just overwhelms me right now. Let me clarify that, the word itself does not overwhelm me, it is the reaction to it. I have no problem with the fact that I have passed my due date. I firmly believe that baby will come when he is ready and that rushing it is not beneficial for either of us. A "due date" is not a magic number, like a timer that goes off when baking a cake. It is just an estimation, a window of time. Most pregnancies are closer to 42 weeks long.

I have gone into hiding mode. I know that I am not answering the phone or e-mails right now. The phone rings constantly. I know that everyone is excited to hear baby news, but we will announce when he arrives. No news, means he is not here yet. Lamar was just home for a few days and now understands what I have been telling him for the past few weeks. There is no break from the constant phone calls.

I am spending my days sleeping and playing with the girls. We have been having lots of fun with games, tea parties and crafts. We even did some school shopping for Shianne. Everything is ready for baby.

I know that everyone means well. Please know that I am very well taken care of. I have some friends who are great support and are showering me with meals, laughter and cake! Check back and we will let you know all the baby info as soon as we do.

Cheesy Potato Goodness

Today, I treated Shianne to some alone time with me and we went to see a movie. She wanted to see Julie and Julia, the new movie about Julia Child. Shianne is a foodie, just like me. We smuggled in our candy and shared a popcorn and soda. I almost felt guilty eating such crap food while watching a movie centered around French cooking...almost!

We came home and Lamar wanted to grill some ribs. I decided that we needed some cheesy scalloped potatoes to go with the ribs, in homage to the movie. This is a dish that I do not make often because it never seems to turn out to my expectations. But today, I felt fearless. Lets give this another try. The ingredients are so simple. Potatoes, half and half, butter, garlic and cheese. I heated everything on the stove then put it in the oven for a hour.

What I pulled out was next to perfection. The potatoes were cooked, no curdling of the sauce and a perfect cheese crust on the top. MMM! The perfect accompaniment to the ribs. We even grilled some zucchini from the garden. We all rolled ourselves away from the dinner table very content.

A gift for the girls

Lamar and I have been very conscious about the fact that the girls' life is about to change drastically with the arrival of the new baby. We had been thinking of getting them something special to help occupy them while we are busy with the little one.

Lamar was walking around the store at work yesterday and came across a Wii. We are not a family that plays a lot video games, but we know that the girls enjoy them when they get to play at friends house. I know that we are a little behind the times with getting new technology, but the time felt right. The Wii came home with Lamar.

The girls were so excited when we gave it to them last night. Today Lamar got it all set up and the play began. We are just starting out with some sports games (go figure). Nora Beth surprised us all by her skill. She actually beat Lamar in bowling and Shianne in baseball! She was so excited to be playing a "big kid" game! Now, we did purchase this for the kids, but Lamar has spent more time with it than the two of them. So, who was this really for, Lamar?

In Hot Water!

A few months ago the instant hot water heater under my kitchen sink died. I was very sad about it, since I use it every day for my tea. I know that it is not difficult to heat water in the microwave or on the stove - but both of those take time and I like the instant gratification of near boiling water. I don't even own a tea kettle. I know that I am always advocating for "green" stuff here in the house, but sometimes, the "I wants" get the best of me.

I searched for a new heater that would be compatible with our sink and I finally found one. Lamar got it for me last week. Even he is spoiled by the convenience of the hot water. Some of you may remember how we came to have the original instant hot water. When I was about seven months pregnant with Nora Beth, Lamar decided to clean the fish tank in the kitchen sink. Some rocks fell down into the garbage disposal and I turned the disposal on, not knowing what he had done. We suddenly had the need for a new garbage disposal. I figured that while installing the new disposal I would treat myself to the hot water that I had been wanting. It was quite the experience installing the disposer and heater on my own while seven months pregnant. You would think that I learned my lesson.

Obviously, I did not! Today I dismantled the old unit and installed the new one. This was much more difficult at 9 months pregnant. I am sure I was quite the sight, pregnant belly and legs hanging out from under the sink. Once I got on my back, it was next to impossible to move and took me much longer to accomplish than if I had been more able bodied.

I am happy to say, that all is in working order and I now have my hot water back. Can't wait for the first cup of tea.

Manic Monday

What is it about Monday's lately? Last Monday we had a labor warm up, but nothing happened. The week continued without incident. Now last night we started to simmer again. Well, maybe a low boil. I made the necessary phone calls to my support team, took a bath, took a moonlit walk with Lamar and I am sure, said some bad words. I was so tired so I decided to rest. The contractions were so intense. I eventually dozed off and woke up PREGNANT!!!

It was a long night for me. I am really tired and sore today. The girls and I are going to walk the new walking bridge across the river today. I also plan to nap a lot today. Lamar has informed me that he does not want to go to work tomorrow. I will see what I can do to help him out with that one!

More Cabin Fun

We went up to the cabin again on Saturday afternoon for a day of family fun. It was loaded with friends and kids. Water fun, BBQ and relaxation was the only thing on the agenda.


Lamar strummed on the guitar for a bit.


Shianne had a great time jumping from the rocks into the inner tube.

Nora Beth thought this looked like fun. She has no fear so jumping off the rocks just added to her new freedom of swimming with the big kids. She was so cute, every time she jumped she would shout "CANNONBALL!"


Lamar worked on his tan while laying on the boat. Nora Beth joined him for a ride back to shore.

I am more than huge!

It seems like everyday I have someone make a comment about how "huge" I am. What is it about pregnancy that people lose all social politeness and feel that it is OK to comment on a woman's size? Yes, I am aware that it looks like I am smuggling a watermelon out of the grocery store. Yes, I am aware that none of my clothes fit.

Why can't we live in a society that sees the amazing gift of life that is growing in my belly? Why can't you comment on the joy that I am carrying, the glow of my skin, the amazing experience I am a part of?

"You are about to pop!" "You must be ready to explode?" When was the last time you saw a person explode? This is something that would never be said to a man with a large "beer belly." I have seen "beer bellies" that are larger than my baby bump!

Instead of concentrating on the healthy child that is growing within me, I hear comments on how big I am. I honestly feel honored that my body knows what it is doing. It knows exactly how to grow this baby and how to get it here. My body is not going to grow a baby that it cannot get out. I do not need to change my birth plan because you think that the baby is "to big." What is "to big?" My stomach measures exactly where it is supposed to be at this point of pregnancy. I have amazing prenatal care. Don't you think that if there was any concern, we would immediately address it? I actually weigh less with this pregnancy than I did with the previous two.

I am going to enjoy these last few days I have until I meet my little boy. I am going to embrace the beautiful belly. I am growing life within me. This is my last time to enjoy this and I have no desire to rush through it.

One year old

It seems unreal that I have been doing this blog for a year now. I have learned so much in the process. I am still amazed that people read this. Who knew that my life would be so interesting. I have a stat counter attached to the blog that I read every week, and every week I have new people reading this blog. I have posted 222 times!

This past year has been an adventure. When this blog started I had no idea that life would be where it is today. I was making plans to expand my business, making plans with the family, and just trying to keep my head above water. Well, I am still trying to keep my head above the water, but I am now on maternity leave and expecting a new baby any day now. I feel like our family is in a better place right now, mainly because I am in a better place now.

I have so many plans for this blog in the next year. I am going to do a 100 day photo project of the new baby and bake my way through "The Bread Bakers Apprentice." I am sure I will come up with some other ideas to keep me busy.

Thanks for hanging in there and "bottoms up" to the next year!