My BIG Family Rant

This post has been a long time in the coming.  For those of you who know me personally on a daily basis, you know about this subject.  For me, it has been the big elephant in the room that I have been trying to ignore, but it just keeps getting bigger.  I can be quiet no longer.  I have to get this off my chest.

What is it about family relationships that are so difficult?  Why is it that the only thing a person may have in common with his/her family is genetics even though they come from the same place.  The nature vs. nurture argument.  Why is it you can do things to family members that would never be deemed acceptable in any other relationship?

I have mentioned in this blog before about our lack of family living in close proximity to us.  Well that is really not the truth.  My whole family lives within a 45 minute drive of my house, yet there are members that I have not seen or spoken to in years.

My family, like many others, has always had some level of dysfunction, but when it came down to it, they were there for each other.  This has changed over the years, most notably after the passing of my Grandmother.  Without the matriarch of this generation, the glue that holds us together is weaker.  We have all drifted away.  Gotten busy with our own families.

I was raised with a parent who was the "outcast" of the family.  Not willing to participate in any of the family activities.  I always hated this as a child.  I wanted to be involved.  I wanted to be surrounded by family.  I swore to myself as a child that I would always be around family.  Raise my children with a network of Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. 

Over the years, there have been several incidents that have poked holes in the family foundation.  No one person is to blame.  Words have been exchanged.  I have tried reaching out, inviting people over, mending fences, but only to have the door slammed in my face.  Not once has this ever been reciprocated.  I thought family was supposed to be there for each other, forgive and forget and move on.  Pride, insecurities and jealousy have trumped love.

I have children that my family has never met.  I have a child who has been greatly hurt by this.  Two children who have no idea that I even have a family.  I was hoping that by reaching out to family while I was pregnant that a positive step would be made.  Nope.  There has been no interest in change.  Life is to short for this kind of crap.  Yes, I said it... CRAP!!!

So, where does this leave me today.  Hurt, angry, confused, lost...and stronger.  Stronger in the fact that I am even more determined to create a positive network of "family" for my children.  I have been forced to seek out a "chosen" family to fill a void.  Forced to tell my children stories of those that have come before us, of a family that once was and to create a new future for my children.